Always and Never

There are things in life that people should try to always and never do and manners applies to both.  Having manners and showing respect to others ultimately says that you care enough to present yourself well, thusly manners are very much integral to your bella figura.  Presenting yourself as a lady or gentleman seems almost lost in today's world; almost like people don't have the extra time to be nice or considerate.  Manners don't take much, just a little thought and practise, until they become habit and don't require any thought at all because they flow naturally.

Whilst reading a few etiquette books, I started thinking about what I consider to be things people should always or never do.  Several of them centred around the dining table, a place ripe with chances to be gross, as well as some things that I think are just little reminders for life in general.  So, the Always and the Never are subdivided into 'At the Table' and 'Life'.  If I've missed anything let me know! Add to my lists, please and thank you.

Ready set.

Always at the Table

Use a napkin.
Push your chair in when exiting the table.
Let someone know when they have food in their teeth. Best if discreet so as to not embarrass.

Always In Life

RSVP
Say please and thank you.
Hold open a door for others.
Let people exit the elevator before getting on.
Remove your shoes when in someone else's home.
Bless someone when they sneeze.
Be on time.
Think before you speak when you're angry.
Try to be a good listener.
Say thank you when complimented. Respond in kind if you're sincere about it.
Treat others the way you want to be treated. Put that good karma out there.

Never at the Table

Chew with your mouth open. It's disgusting.
Talk with your mouth full. It's so disgusting.
Slurp anything. Ever. Soup, coffee, spaghetti. Just don't. EVER.
Allow air to exit your body. Excuse yourself and go to the washroom.
Use your fingers instead of a utensil.
Place your elbows on the table. Arms belong on your lap.

Never In Life

Interrupt someone when they are talking. I know you're excited but just wait your turn.
Show up to someone's home empty handed, especially when invited over for a meal. Wine, flowers, a small appetizer, chocolates, something for the host as a thank-you.
Eat while talking on the phone. Especially while conducting business.
Use your cell phone while having a face-to-face conversation with someone. This behaviour blatantly tells the other person you're not interested in them, and that you're a jerk. The only exception is Googling something that adds to your discussion.
Be deliberately mean or rude. Take the high road, always.

Hope you enjoyed. Thank you for stopping by!
Jessica :)

The Sartorialist Knows

Scott Schuman, The Sartorialist, is someone that I love to follow on Instagram. He is so talented at capturing details that are easily overlooked in the everyday.  Yesterday he posted the above picture and as soon as I saw it and read his description I knew that it was such a perfect example of 'Bella Figura'.  The photo is a testament to Schumans' keen eye that has made him the popular photographer he is today.  He appreciated the extra effort that some Italians go to when presenting something as commonplace as a cup of coffee because they did so beautifully.  Something that is ordinary can still be elegant or make someone feel special when a desire to present yourself or your wares in the best possible way is important to you. Live bella figura; always.

Ciao!
Jessica

How Much??

        Photo Credit: Nick Ares Flickr

When talking dollars and clothing, you get what you pay for. I think that good quality clothing and accessories are worth their cost, and I also think there is a place for fast-fashion and inexpensive clothing and accessories as well.  

I am currently reading Style Clinic by Paula Reed, a book I feel is worth purchasing in paper format versus electronic as referencing is so much easier that way, and amongst its' pages she discusses how to shop during a sale. She asks her reader to question a potential 'on sale' purchase by having them decide whether they would buy the sale item for full price or not. If the answer is yes then the find is the epitome of sale shopping good luck; if the answer is no, then put that item back and keep looking because it is not something you truly love, want, or need. Buying something because it is only $20 or because it's designer for only $200 are not reasons to purchase anything.  A reason to purchase something is because you have consciously decided it's an item your closet needs, and the two reasons previously listed are a bonus.  Realizing the differences here is a big deal, at least it is for me. I am so guilty of buying things because of the label inside and the fact that is was on sale, instead of actually needing it and then proceeding to hunt it down and finding a sale price.  Many of my decisions to not purchase something I've found and loved have been made because of a high price tag, and every time I decided not to purchase I've regretted it. Case-in-point: a pair of patent leather bright pink pumps by Alexander McQueen I found at Neiman Marcus Last Call (my favourite store on EARTH). Say they were half off the original price for the sake of the story, i didn't purchase them, I thought $300 was too much. Mr. McQueen passed away the very next day and, aside from missing out on owning a flawless pair of colourful pumps, I missed out on owning something created by him while he was alive.   Moral of the story, don't let something you love pass you by when you see it.  Buy it.  If you're on a budget for your shopping that day, put something else back to afford the item that you love (more useful advice from Paula). 

I got to thinking about how much I would spend on something and I realized I'm cheap. There are several types of clothing that I just can't rationalize spending a lot of money on, such as underwear, socks, t-shirts, exercise clothing, the majority of fun accessories, the bulk of casual wear like leggings, day dresses, and tunics, and even jeans.  I think the ability to spend a lot of money on clothing comes from a desire to have a particular label on a garment, whether you admit it to yourself or not.  This post is pretty much my opinion on amounts to spend on things, and is very loosely tied to my series on classics, as I see those items as things worth spending more on.  However, there's nothing I love more than a good bargain, so that $700 wool coat better be on sale dammit.  

Here we go.

Underneath

I don't see the point of expensive underwear. Underwear get dirty, so, this may be a place to save. Also, I include lingerie in this category as well because that stuff doesn't stay on long so I don't get the point of spending a lot of money.  The only exception is a properly fitting bra, especially for those with a large chest. Socks are a dicey one because sometimes a sock is meant to do something specific, like absorb sweat when you're running 5K, and the ones that do this well are AWESOME.  Monday to Friday trouser socks and sweat socks on a Sunday can be shamelessly inexpensive.  Same goes for nylons, the less the better. Pyjamas also equal save.  

The Upper Half

I think t-shirts should cost $20 or less, and any more than $50 and you're crazy. Ever hear that Macklemore song? "…you're getting tricked by business…"  Same thing for tank tops.  Polos no more than $80.  If they are vibrantly coloured you want them to stay that way so buy the brand name.  Blouses, $100 or less, depending on the fabric.  Sweaters, $150 for the same reason.  And yes you can find cashmere for $150. Shop the sales.  

Jackets are not investment pieces. They are worn in milder weather than winter coats and often can be used when layering so don't bother spending more than $40-$80 on a jacket. The only exception here is when one is made out of leather. Leather or suede will set you back, but no more than $250 max. Wait for a sale.

Coats are another item that will set you back a bit of money.  Spending over $1000 on a good quality coat is not necessary and this sum will cover wool dress coats for winter, trenches, and casual puffer coats, all of excellent quality with cash to spare, unless you're purchasing designer items.  

The Bottom Half

Jeans.  If you find a pair that make your derrière look like it can bounce quarters buy them whatever the price.  DO NOT buy them because of the label first and fit second because then you're wasting your own money.  Jeans are a heartbreaker for women, they can let us feel very bad about ourselves. All brands fit differently. Don't look at the size as being a skinny or fat indicator, the only thing it's there for is to guide you to what fits you best from brand to brand.  Just because you're a 4 in one pair and an 8 in another doesn't mean you ballooned up 4 sizes.  Jeans can be their own post altogether, but bottom line is if you find what makes you feel good lookin', buy it.

Trousers.  Finding an incredible pair of dress trousers for $200 or less is completely possible and should be done.  Alternatively, when looking for a perfect fitting pair of trousers, do not opt for the $60 pair; they won't fit you like a $200 pair because the cut and craftsmanship won't be as meticulous, and the fabric won't be as good of quality.  Also, with a more expensive pair of trousers you'll probably find that they are lined which adds to the durability and look of the pant.  Trousers, especially black ones, are a staple and quality counts, so spend some jake.  Business casual pants, a.k.a. khakis, should never cost more than $50. These pants are hideous anyways, don't spend a lot money. 

Skirts.  This item cost depends on the function. If it is a black pencil skirt then $150 on this item is worth it as it will get miles of wear, and that is a ton of money for a skirt. A flowy peasant maxi skirt for Saturdays at the market, then $40 max.  Generally speaking, I would not spend a lot of money on skirts as you get less wear out of them than you do pants. 

Shoes.  I don't believe in cheap shoes, and by cheap I mean $100 or less, unless it's a shoe that has a sale price below $100. For the record, I don't mean $100 flip flops either, I'm talking pumps, evening sandals, wedges, etc.  Shoes take a beating and, unless you're into throwing away money, buying quality in this category is really worth it.  You'll get real leather or suede, quality craftsmanship, good stitching, quality soles that won't fall or peel off.  Boots are even more expensive when you're buying quality and I would say go no less than $250 for the same reasons as shoes.  If you have lots of money to spend on designer shoes then there is no ceiling to your spending, but a good pump should cost no more than $400, and boots no more than $500.  Sneakers, which are completely different from running shoes, should be no more than $80. Running shoes can range and, because they have a function to perform, will cost you at least $150-$200. Spend the money; your knees will thank you.  Flats may be my only exception to the rule here. Unless you live in flats or use them for urban commuting, then don't spend a lot.  A black or nude leather pair, fine $150.  Anything else that is colourful, embellished, or fun, $40. (I learned this lesson the hard way on $100 metallic silver embellished flats that shredded my heels. I no longer own them.)  

Full Body 

Suits are expensive. Well, well designed ones are at least.  Suits are one thing that should require spending some decent money on, as a cheap suit just looks cheap. The fabric is terrible, the cut is terrible, and therefore the appearance and fit are terrible.  When purchasing a suit, look for natural fabrics such as wool, linen, or cotton and/or blends. Spend $500-$1000, especially for men. Women have other attire options on occasions when men wear suits, so for a woman $500 is plenty.  No more than $1000 is necessary and a fine suit you'll get for that price; that amount is quite the investment.

Dresses are also a garment that have to be considered for their use when spending money on them.  A wrap style dress or A-line shift that flatters the figure and is in a neutral colour will serve you well and $150 is a fair price for this item. Save if it is a casual piece or is something that is trendy. Cheap evening gowns stick out like only cheap evening gowns can, as shiny obnoxious spectacles of cheap satin or spandex, with or without sequins. Ugh.  When shopping for evening or formal wear, buy quality fabric in a shape that fits well, a colour that flatters, and tailor if you must. When dressing in this manner, elegance is your goal so spending at least $300-$400 is completely acceptable.

Exercise clothing. I have to mention this category for two reasons. 1: over-priced athletic gear and 2: it is not casual wear.  If you exercise in any way, you know that you need clothing that performs specific functions like supporting your chest or wicking away sweat or moving with your body without moving out of position. This type of clothing requires spending enough to find what you're looking for and anything above that is a waste of money. $100 on a hoodie is a waste of money. $50 for a sports bra is definitely adequate.  Refer to above on how much to spend on a t-shirt.  If you're purchasing clothing made for exercising so you can run errands comfortably you're just either confused, being lazy, or deliberately inappropriate. Put on jeans and sneakers, not yoga pants and running shoes. You wouldn't go to the opposite end of the spectrum and wear your evening gown to buy groceries would you? If your answer is "No, that would look ridiculous!", well then consider that the opposite may also be true.  That little silver circle on the back of your leg is not meant for the dry cleaners and the drug store, and your face of makeup tells me you didn't just do 60 minutes of spinning and change after.

Casual wear.  Meaning jogging pants and sweatshirts. These should be inexpensive. Sometimes these clothes are meant to leave the house whilst being worn. An acceptable occasion is running to the store for milk. Baby formula. Tylenol. You ran out of flour and are baking 100 cupcakes. So, little life emergencies when the last thing on your mind is your Bella Figura. 

Etc.

Trends. Do not spend a lot on trends; this applies to clothing as well as accessories. Go to Forever 21 or H&M or Asos. Fast fashion stores continue to exist because they carry the latest trends so shop there when this is what you're looking to buy. Trends are meant to come and go and if you're trying something out to see how it looks on you, do not spend a lot of money. Remember, at some point you will probably be getting rid of what ever it is that you're buying, so you have to decide for yourself how much you're willing to basically throw away. 

Accessories

Hats, scarves, gloves, statement necklaces, earrings, bracelets, and clutches. All of these items can be had at very low prices and this is definitely where you can save; $40 or less for costume jewelry and clutches. If you're buying costume jewelry to finish off one specific outfit spend the least amount possible.  If you're buying a fedora to try out the style, save. Scarves and gloves are a save; you can find each for $50 or less.  The only thing I can see spending a lot of money on is purchasing real jewelry or if you're buying a good quality cocktail ring. Clearly real jewelry is expensive and I can't put a price on that for anyone, but a good quality costume cocktail ring can be had for $150.  

So, maybe these figures make me cheap. Frugal. Whatever. I think it's just common sense. Who doesn't love a good sale and who doesn't love NOT wasting money? Hopefully this proves that you don't have to spend a million to look like one, 'cause you don't ya' know. 

Toodles,
Jess

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Classics Series - Handbags

Classics won't let you down, whether it be clothing, literature, movies, cars, music, the list goes on, there's a reason why certain items stand the test of time. They are designed well, they function as they are supposed to, the materials that are used to make them stand up to repeated use, they are shaped well, and they are simple enough to appeal to a large number of people.  Clothing and accessories are the focus of this series on classics, and I will begin with handbags. 

Women and handbags are like mac and cheese, a winning combination every time.  And within the last 10 years or so, it seems the more expensive your handbag, the better.  We are a society that loves labels without shame, and I'll be the first to admit that designer bags are the cherry on top of ones wardrobe, next to the other cherry that is footwear.  A handbag always fits even if it's a fat day, a handbag gets noticed as it is perched on top of a table, desk, chair, or arm. A handbag is a detail, but a huge detail that so many of us women pay attention to, and therefore something that women love to spend money on.  

There are some handbags that are considered classics, whether it be due to the material that is used, the shape of the bag its' self, or the manner in which it is carried, and I will attempt to run down a list of those classics for you, with a designer option, and a less expensive option to choose from.  

When purchasing a bag, there are a few things to consider before shelling out hundreds, or thousands, yes thousands, of dollars.  First: Why are you buying this bag? Do you love it and appreciate it or are you buying it because other chicks will be jealous of you? Former: go ahead; latter: you have problems a bag can't fix.  Second: How are you paying for this? Anyone can whip out their plastic to buy something, but trust me, when you save up your hard earned money and actually pay cash for that soft leather gold hardware'd beauty, you'll be so proud you bought it yourself that it's worth the wait. (It's a feeling I know, and yes it's a good one.) Third: Have you done your research? Make sure you're aware of the materials used, the weight of the bag, if the design is one that will work for you in the long haul.  And, Fourth: Have you shopped around and considered if this style of bag is for you? If you are a professional, then that fringed hobo at $2000 probably isn't the best style of bag to splurge on as your everyday workhorse.  If you are a mom, you may want to consider a cross body, which have come so far from the frumpy versions of years ago, or something small that can be tossed into a diaper bag.  How you're going to use your bag should greatly dictate what style you choose.

Now, for the lovelies as I see it.

The Duffel

A duffel bag, which may also be referred to as a 'Bowler' bag because it's shape is very similar to bag used to carry bowling balls, has a rectangular shape to it from the front and the back, with a rounded top and a flat bottom, which may or may not come with 'feet' to protect the bottom material when the bag is put down on any surface.  The sides are more square with the same rounded top and flat bottom.  Typically a duffel bag had top handles on it, in the shape of an upside down 'U', and their size will vary from bag to bag.  A duffle may also come with a longer strap, often removable, so the bag can be carried on a shoulder or in a cross-body manner.  Duffles close with a single zipper and the interior is usually just one large compartment with a small inner pocket on one side.  The term Duffle can also refer to a 'Weekender' bag or an 'Overnight' bag which is a larger bag used for packing essentials for short trips, carry-ons, and even gym/exercise essentials. Two designer examples of a duffle bag/bowler bag are the Givenchy Antigona and Louis Vuitton Speedy 30. A more reasonably priced alternative to these two bags is Kate Spade Gramercy Drive Deena and Cobble Hill Sami. (Louis Vuitton Speedy 30 old)

The Satchel

A satchel is similar to a duffle in that from the front it looks square to rectangular shaped but that is where the similarities end.  A satchel has more variety to it design wise and can range from sleek and polished to having embellishments or designs.  A satchel can have one or two top handles used to carry it, and may or may not come with a longer, often removable strap.  The closeur of this style handbag can be zippered or with a fold-over top flap, similar to an envelope.  Another difference between a satchel and a duffel bag is the width as viewed from the side; a satchel is much more narrow which is another design feature that lends it's self more towards a feminine, structured, formal appearance when compared to the duffle. The interior of a satchel may be divided into two or more compartments which makes keeping your things organized easier. The satchel may carry less than the duffel which makes it ideal as a Monday-Friday work handbag, especially if you work in a more conservative environment, due to it's more sleek and polished appearance.    Some designer examples of a satchel are Hermes Birkin, Saint Laurent Sac de Jour, and Prada Medium Saffiano. For a more reasonably priced alternative Coach Gramercy,  Tory Burch Robinson Open Dome, and Ralph Lauren Newbury . Photo courtesy of Coach 

The Hobo

One of my personal favourites, even though the inside turns into a vortex that sucks your belongings into a place that makes them almost impossible to retrieve, especially when in a hurry, is the hobo. A hobo bag is usually worn over the shoulder and has a slouchy, casual vibe to it that makes it perfect for weekends, vacations, and summer time.  A hobo in entirety is generally more circular shaped thusly without any firm structure, and can have one top handle or two used to carry it. If the handles are on the shorter side, the bag may come with a longer, perhaps removable strap, that can be used to carry it over the shoulder.  A hobo is usually carried on the shoulder, handheld, or perched on a wrist or forearm.  The inside of a hobo, like previously stated, is usually one large compartment where all of your belongings can be tossed, and there is typically a smaller pocket sewn onto one of the sides making this style of handbag's interior very similar to the duffle.  To me, a designer bag that has no one better in this category is Bottega Veneta. They make several styles of hobo's, such as the Veneta Maxi. Other designer options include Saint Laurent Suede Hobo and The Row Sling.  More affordable versions are Marc by Marc Jacobs Classic Q Hillier Hobo and Too Hot to Handle Hobo. (Michael Kors hobo old)

The Cross-Body

A cross-body bag is carried just in that manner, worn on one shoulder with the strap across the body and the bag resting against the opposite hip or side of the body. These bags are made by just about every designer and brand from premium to absolutely affordable. They come in a variety of materials, shapes, styles, and colours, and are a smaller, more wearable version of a messenger bag.  A cross-body is invaluable in situations where the wearer needs to be hands free; mothers, people travelling, a day of shopping and/or errand-running, at a sporting event, or at an amusement park.  The interior of the bag is typically one compartment with a smaller pocket sewn onto the interior of the back side of the purse.  Cross-body bags range in size but they don't typically become as large as some hobos and duffels as that would make them more of a messenger bag rather than an actual handbag.  The term 'cross-body' can be used in conjunction with other styles as designers are often now including longer straps with their bags when they didn't in the past.  A perfect example is the Louis Vuitton Speedy Bandouliere 30; LV took an iconic bag and made it cross-body.  Genius.  The occasions when this type of bag comes in handy is basically endless, provided the use is on a casual side.  A cross body bag is not a formal style of bag, therefore it should not replace a clutch or a satchel for formal events or when one's employment is in a conservative environment.  Also, owing to the smaller size of cross-body bags, they aren't typically an every day bag, unless you travel very lightly.  A few designer examples of a cross body are Saint Laurent Monogramme Small Crossbody, Louis Vuitton Alma BB, and Chanel 2.55.  More affordable options include Michael Michael Kors Riley Crossbody, Kate Spade Cobble Hill Little Harris and Cedar Street Monday. Photo courtesy of Coach.

The Tote

The tote, or alternatively called a shopper, quite possibly is the absolute most simply designed handbag there is. Some are literally two rectangles of textile sewn together at the bottom and sides with two handles for carrying. You have to love a tote for it's simplicity and it's practicality.  Tote bags began being used as an alternative to luggage, much thanks to L.L. Bean's introduction of the tote in 1944, and from there became main stream due to the lovely Kate Spade and her everyday use of this style bag.  The textile a tote can be made of ranges from canvas to leather; very strong materials and made for carrying a lot of stuff.  The interior may or may not have a small pocket sewn inside; other than that possible feature the tote is very simplistic.  Some designer examples of a tote are Balenciaga Paper A4 Tote, Givenchy Easy Tote, and Gucci Swing Tote.  More affordable are Coach Taxi Zip Top Tote, Kate Spade Lita Street Andrea, and L.L. Bean Boat and Tote (a true workhorse bag). (Burberry Tote old)

The Clutch

The clutch is a small bag used for evenings out and/or formal occasions when one only needs to carry the essentials. A clutch is small in size, may have only one inner compartment or a couple, depending on how it is constructed. Clutches can be made of a hard outer casing or of soft materials such as embellished fabrics or leather. The clutch is one of the bags that you can find at practically any price point and still find something special.  Judith Leiber is the queen of the clutch. Her designs are imaginative, colourful, and truly artwork unto themselves. They come with a price tag to match the intricacy of the bag, but if you are looking for a splurge, you can't go wrong with one of her designs.  Clearly having something that is a little bit of luxury is exciting, but a clutch is used so infrequently and without much abuse, but if there is an area in which to save on a bag, this is it.  Some other options can be found at Zara, H&M, TopShop, Forever 21, and Asos. (Aldo clutch old)

As most of us know, there are several more styles of handbags aside from the ones mentioned, but these styles will not fail you on most every occasion. From day-to-day handbags, ones for travelling, or for a night out, a combination of these styles will make up a collection that will suit basically any need that may arise in which you need to carry your belongings. Most of the styles here are minimalist in their appearance, solid colours and mostly neutrals, as those features also lend themselves to a classic piece because their simplicity makes them very useful.  If you are the more adventurous type or love to use colour in your accessories, try buying a classic style of bag in a vibrant colour or print, and also you can never go wrong with leopard.

Hope you enjoyed!

Toodles :)
Jessica

Modern Communication

I just finished reading "Rude Bitches Make Me Tired" by Celia Rivenbark, a very sassy etiquette book that I kind-of/sort-of enjoyed.  Etiquette has become my new thing, so more posts on that topic to follow.  In one chapter Celia discusses modern communication and the ways in which people convey information to one another personally and professionally.  First of all the text. If you don't text, you don't have a cell phone or you're 86, or both. I don't know how one can get by without a cell phone, but if I really wanted to know the answer I could just as my mother.  

I digress.  

The text, the most succinct manner of communication, second in brevity to Twitter which limits your number of characters to a whopping 140.  The text allows someone to fire off the essence of their thoughts, you hope when being the recipient of said text, for your viewing pleasure and allowed to respond in kind, meaning keep it short and sweet and dear Lord don't take more that two minutes to respond or else you'll get another text in ALL CAPS asking if you got the first text. Celia discusses this as well, and how much it is appreciated by her husband because she can get to the point.  

So I wonder, why not pick up the phone? Why not have a real conversation with that person, save for the fact that it isn't face to face? When I met my husband, our first few months of conversation were via BBM.  In fact, he didn't even get my actual cell phone number, he just got my BBM pin. Yeah Blackberry was hot 5 years ago, and how I still miss the key board.  Good times. After a few months of talking and dating, I acknowledged the elephant in the communication room and told him I thought we were just too scared to actually talk to each other on the phone. He laughed knowingly.  People can hide behind keyboards.  They can hide behind a text or an e-mail and say what they want to say, have to say, or need to say, without seeing how their words are received by witnessing the other persons facial expressions, or hearing the tone in their voice, and basically not having any knowledge of how their comments are received.  The huge problem that is cyber-bulling is the best example here.  

Not communicating in person is not limited to negative topics, it is used to share happy news as well.  My husband and I sent out the news of our first pregnancy via text message, so I can only imagine how it was received because I didn't get to hear voices or see faces.  The more we progress in the world of technology, the farther apart I feel we become because a human element goes missing, a connection that is found only when in other people's company.  Why get together with someone when you can text for five minutes and get the gist of their life?  Heck, you don't want to text? Go on FaceBook, Instagram, or SnapChat.

Communication requires effort, and time. I know, it's really difficult to pick up the phone and return a phone call because it takes 5 minutes and you have to push buttons. I placed a business-related phone call today and asked for a call in return. I received an email and upon receipt of said email, I realized that what Celia wrote about is completely true. People don't use the phone any more to make actual real phone calls; we use our cell phones to text, Tweet, peruse FaceBook etcetera. Poor Alexander Graham Bell, probably never saw it all coming; and Lord help you if your forte is stationary because no one sends letters, cards, or notes any more. Just ask USPS. 

If how you leave people feeling matters to you, then try being a bit more personal in the way you communicate. Listen well, respond when appropriate and without interruption to another's words, and be thoughtful in the things you say so those you're conversing with know you're paying attention to them, and for heaven's sake put your cell phone away, it won't kill you! Communicating with a personal touch also very much includes hand-written notes and thank-you's that took time to write, seal, add postage to, and put into a real mail box.  A birthday card is so much more thoughtful than a text or a FaceBook message.  Do not send condolences in an electronic manner, take the time to write a card, send flowers, or both. Don't be afraid of eye contact with other people; when you're talking to someone or a group of people, eye contact lets the other person(s) know you're interested and sincere. 

There are so many subtle nuances to communication with people, and half or greater are forgotten because they involve face-to-face contact.  So many of the laughs I've shared with friends have been around a dinner table, where we sit for hours just talking and sipping.  It's the moments you share with people that let you go a month, or two, or six without seeing them that keep the bonds of friendship and family strong and real.  Go ahead and be old fashioned. Pick up the phone and dial instead of texting. Send a card instead of a Facebook message.  Write a letter instead of an email.  Make the way you connect with people personal, and I venture to guess they will have a hard time forgetting you and the way your thoughtfulness made them feel.

Why Bella Figura?

A simple two-word Italian phrase with a lengthy explanation. To translate to English literally means "beautiful figure" but to Italians it is so much more than that; it means how one presents themselves to others, which encompasses all forms of style, not only in manner of dress, but speech, posture, and gestures both physical and emotional.  I came across this phrase while reading about Italian culture. My husband is Italian and in an effort to more thoroughly understand his family, I stumbled upon this phrase. Two simple words that sum up what I feel is the essence of personal style, because style is so much more than what you decided what to wear today. In addition to how you dress, style is how you speak, how you walk, the manners you use, the effort you put into little things like grooming and posture, as well as more obvious things like the impression your home gives to your guests, or how you leave a person feeling after having been in their company.  Style is in everything you do and say, and wether you eschew fashion and style as it can be superficially perceived or not, it what makes you YOU.  So, why not make your own person style, your 'bella figura", the best it can be? There have been countless moments in my life where I cringe because, as I've thought back, I've realized I could have softened a comment or used a serving knife, and, Lord knows, how many opportunities I've had to not swear.  I could have taken the time to visit more.  I should have sent that handwritten thank you note instead of texting. There will always be these little things here and there that could have been improved, but the act of noticing is the first step to improvement. 

Bella Figura is your best possible self, and it takes effort to care about how you present yourself to the world, and one should care that they present themselves honestly and truly, without contrite, without falsity, and without being artificial.  

So, I decided to start this blog. I tend to talk a lot, which means I have a lot to say, so even if what I have to say interests one single reader, then that will make me happy. I like to write, I like to read, I love to look at pictures of beautiful things, I appreciate hand stitched garments and super-fine silk. My embroidery and beading make me happy.  I'm dreaming of herringbone floors. I think a handwritten note is a bygone gesture needing resurrection.  I think a gentle "Thank You' is worth it's weight in gold. I should try harder to emulate a woman who can sit herself down without flopping.  I appreciate style in many forms and hope to present what I consider to be all the elements of style here, and explain how anyone can achieve their own personal style; their own Bella Figura.